Life is weary

I have not had a good week.  The day after I posted last, I was sent to Loma Linda 2NE for rest and observation.  I was told it would be a treatment center for those in emotional crisis.  It was hell on earth.  The first night I was there my roommate hung herself because she couldn't get her medication.  thank God she lived through the experience.  I spent 5 nights there and will never again volunteer myself to that place.

My mania and depression have gotten really bad, actually got worse while I was there.  my depression is not being medically addressed and I'm having to deal with the ones who think that I only need the Bible to treat this.  Because it was proven a chemical and physical disorder, I don't believe that there is anything about it that makes me less a Christian.  Sometimes it makes it harder to trust in God, though.

This child support case against me has to get taken care of soon, because I can't settle any of my other pressing issues until it is done.  It is my biggest stressor right now.  I HAVE to get it handled next week.

Wow, I haven't posted in a while!

Things are really up in the air.  Tuesday I go in to talk to my boss about my job.  Personnel wants to lay me off, I need more time off, not only recovery time, but also expecting a major surgery involving everything below my bellybutton - not the cancer that was feared, other things. 

I'm tired and have not been able to find the right combination of medication to control my mood disorder.  Am arguing with my doctor right now about a particular one that causes unspeakable pain every time I take it, and no pain when I don't.  He says the percentage of people with that side effect is so small it can't be causing it and wants to send me to a pain specialist.  I refuse to take it, but without it I have bad mood symptoms.  The cure is worse than the disorder.  There are other medications that can be tried.  I'll keep you posted.

Here at the house, hubby gets me revved up to get the house ready to dell everything and buy and RV, we talk about buying an older one until his settlement comes in, so I start cleaning cupboards, pricing and boxing stuff for a moving sale, and now he is convinced he wants to wait until he gets his settlement, which could take a year, and wants me to put the sale on hold and make the house look like it's not being packed up to move.  75% of it is in boxes.  If he thinks I'm unpacking all that, he's crazier than I think.  He won't listen to anything I try to tell him about the research I've done on getting the best prices for stuff, and wants to just shove it all in boxes the day before the sale and stick the boxes in the front yard for people to dig through.  Good luck with that!

Trying to sell some of the bigger things now.  The last of the fish tanks are gone, and I promptly had to use the money to put new brakes on my car!

Anyone got $10,000 -$20,000 they want to donate to a worthy cause?  LOL 

If we don't kill each other, or get divorced before we get moved out of the house, we should be fine. 

Tomorrow is the biopsy

Tomorrow is my biopsy.  It will be hard to wait for the pathology report.

Today I was prayed for by a real prophet of God

Today, Nicole stopped me and asked to pray for me.  She said that my loan modification would go through and my house would be safe from foreclosure.  She said that there are demons in my home, speaking of my husband's mental illness.  She said he would have to deal with his deep guilt and pain, and I would be shocked, but I would be okay, a pillar.  She said at some point I will say enough, and I will be okay.

She also told me that I have something wrong with my gall bladder, liver, or something in the abdominal cavity, but was positive that it wasn't my uterus.  I will get medication and a special diet that will be easy to follow and I will lose weight.  She said my COPD will be healed and I will lose the desire to do the things that are bad for me.  (smoking, overeating?) 

She said that God would make me healthy because I have much more work to do for Him, and I will bask in the pure joy of the Lord.

I'm sure I missed somethings, but I think I hit the most important things.

Since no one reads this blog (I get a traffic report weekly) I'm going to use it as my diary as well as my humor collection site. 

Thank you Jesus for wrapping me in a protective bubble and promising me that I will be okay.  I claim each of these promises in your Holy, Precious Name.  Help me to live up to your plans for my life.  I love you, Lord.  Thank you for loving me.  I am no longer a casual Christian!

Notes on my life

Today I am very tired.  Hubby has been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 - Mixed.  It has been very stressful since his breakdown.  We received notice today that he will not be allowed to return to his regular position at work, due to his residual disability from his back injury, However, that was just from the Disability Insurance company.  We are waiting to see how long it will take the company he works for to say he will not be allowed to come back.


I, on the other hand, am having my surgical biopsy on the 27th (less than 1 1/2 weeks), and will not get the results until May 5th.  This is adding stress to my already burdened worry-muscles.  : )

I am glad that I have my Savior and Lord, Jesus, to lean upon during this trying time.  In the mean time I will continue my restful hobby of collecting clean humor to post here.  I have a lot on my hard drive that I just need to upload.

Please keep us in your prayers,

Love you all,

Miss Kitty K.

Things my dad used to say

My dad was an amazing man.  He was a range cowboy when he and mom got married, was a driller in the Texas oilfields when I was born, and became a citrus rancher, an orchard manager, a gas station owner, and a heavy equipment mechanic at various times of his life.  He is the source of my love of humor and my warped sense of humor.  Here's to you, dad.  I miss you.

• Don't squat with your spurs on.
• Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
• If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
• If you don't have time to do it right the first time, how will you every find time to do it over?
• I'm not retired, just real tired.

Well, I'll close my first entry with that.  I have homework to finish.  Yes, at my age!  Good night and God bless.